#HAWMC Day 30: Word Cloud

#HAWMC Day 30 A Hipster Alice Word Cloud

@hipsteralice: Alice in Crohnsland for



http://www.whatthejules.com/april/351-hawmc-day-30-a-hipster-alice-word-cloud

#HAWMC Day 29: Six Sentence Story- Broken Girl

#HAWMC Day 29: Hipster Alice’s Six Sentence Story

Broken Girl




The girl went to the hospital, where she was told they’d fix her.


But like Humpty Dumpty, once they took her apart, they couldn’t put her back together again.


After two surgeries they were able to patch her up, but inside there was a void that went untended.


The girl who was discharged from the hospital, was unlike the one who had been admitted, because she was now broken.


As the year passed she began a descent down the rabbit hole of depression.


The broken girl got lost as she wandered around, until she met kind people who helped her find a way out.










~~~~~~
@hipsteralice
Alice in Crohnsland
April Blogger In Residency for


http://www.whatthejules.com/april/347-hipster-alice-aka-kat

#HAWMC Day 28: The First Time I Walked Again

#HAWMC Day 28 The First Time I Walked Again

After being hospitalized for over 3 1/2 months, it was time for me to get out of bed and start walking again. Having been bed-ridden for so long, I’d not only lost muscle mass, but I’d lost the ability to walk. I could barely get up and move around my bed area. But part of treatment is making progress. I was in a skilled nursing facility and the goal was that I would be able to get moving again, by starting physical therapy. To prepare for physical therapy, part of the treatment plan included getting me up and out of bed. So that I would gradually build up stamina.


I remember the day, it was a Saturday. Two of my very good friends who had been very supportive of me during my hospital stay were visiting. The nurses suggested I go for a walk around the unit with them. I had a wheelchair and a walker. The plan was that I would walk as far as I could. I was very scared, but I felt comfortable with my friends. More comfortable with them than with my parents because with my friends I could let down my guard without fear of worrying them as I would with my parents.


Anyway the time came. My friends wanted to take me for a walk out of the unit down to the cafeteria, to grab coffee and chat. My room was at the very far end of the unit, which was on the opposite end of the entrance. I remember the fear and unsteadiness that came as I began taking steps. One friend walked next to me, and the other walked a few steps behind me, with the wheelchair, so that were I too feel unsteady, I could sit. I should add that one of my friends is a fellow Crohnie, and the other is a nurse. Needless to say, I was in good company. Safe. Anyway, I very slowly made my way down the hall. I was terrified. What if I fell? My legs felt very unsteady. I was pushing my walker and my friends were cheering me along. The entrance to the unit may as well have been in a different city, it felt I would never get there.


The nurses’ unit was the halfway point between my room and the entrance. It took all my strength, both physical and mental, to make it that far. By the time I’d reached the nurses’ station, I was out of breath and psychologically was near my breaking point. I was on the verge of a panic attack. I began to feel light-headed and dizzy. As I approached the nurses’ station, I made my way directly to the chairs that were in the area and sat down. My heart was racing quickly, I was shaking, my head felt light. The nurses congratulated me on having made it that far but inside I was an emotional wreck. It took all my strength to pretend I was fine and to act like the dizziness was the issue. I sipped water and chatted with my friends while seated in front of the nurses’ station. Then it was time to go back to my room.


I didn’t walk back. I was too weak and felt too unsteady. Of course, this raised everyone’s concern. It was agreed that it would be safest for me to be wheeled back to my room. I was very scared of falling. It’s natural to have that fear, as I wasn’t used to walking. It was as if I’d regressed to toddler hood and was once more learning how to walk.


That night, after my visitors had gone, I could no longer hold back the tears. Even though I’d taken some steps, I felt like a failure. I wondered if the day would ever come when I’d walk again. It was so frustrating to go from being so active, so ambulatory, to not even have the strength to walk down a hallway. I was afraid that I would never be able to resume my normal activity.


Eventually, I was able to walk further until I was able to ambulate with ease (and with the help of my walker). By the time of my discharge I was able to walk around with ease (with the aid of my walker). I remember going back a week later to visit my roommate. I will never forget the look of surprise and pleasure on the nurses’ face when they saw me walk in. I wasn’t using my walker anymore. And I was fine. It was as if I’d never needed a walker in the first place. It was a shared happy moment for all of us.




@hipsteralice
April Blogger in Residency
Alice in Crohnsland for

#HAWMC Day 27: 5 Challenges & 5 Small Victories

#HAWMC Day 27: 5 Challenges & 5 Small Victories

I am not a good list maker. Especially when it comes to listing “challenges” and “victories”! I understand the therapeutic value of this exercise. It is so much easier for me to list my weakness than my strengths (because I don’t want to feel like I’m bragging!). Yet at the same time, I’m struggling with listing “challenges” because it makes me feel like I am complaining. I am not a whiner, I don’t give myself pity parties. I don’t like to focus on the negative. I approach my health “challenges” by taking them in stride.


With that in mind, I am focusing my “Top 5 Challenges & Small Victories ” on health (both physical and mental) as that is what I’ve written about in my blog.


5 Challenges


1. Living with Chronic Illnesses


a.) Crohn’s, fibromyalgia, depression and ptsd (See how indecisive I am? I couldn’t just pick one illness/disease! Ha!)


b.) taking medications: side effects contribute to my fatigue/make me so sleepy and feel like a zombie


2. PTSD: causes me to avoid: people, places and things which are triggers.


3. Fibro: constant pain/fatigue


4. Depression: and with it the tendency to shut people out and withdraw.


5. Not being able to go to work due to my health condition (I know this is only temporary)


5 Victories


1. Allowing myself to be vulnerable. (this one is a crossover as it is both a challenge *and* a victory)


2. Starting therapy: addressing my ptsd & depression. Getting help. Admitting that I can’t do this alone.


3. Joining Twitter (yes, this IS a victory… and an addiction! Ha!) : feeling comfortable speaking with others about my health conditions in such an open forum.


4. HAWMC: blogging daily is a great accomplishment NOT a small victory, rather a great one.


5. The discovery that I am Chronically Awesome: that while I may experience illnesses, there is more to me than that.


Tell us what surprised you about these items, what you expected (or didn’t expect), what excites you.


What surprised me is the ease with which I am stepping outside of my comfort zone, by opening up to others, via twitter and my blog.


What I expected and what happened, was that it was very easy to list my challenges, yet difficult to list victories. I wasn’t surprised to find that I struggle with letting people in; due to my unwillingness to be vulnerable. Another reason is that I don’t want to be a burden or a “Debbie Downer”.


What excites (hmm. I don’t know if that’s the right word? Maybe a better term is ” What gives me hope” or “What motivates me” ) about this is knowing that what I’ve listed as “challenges” are obstacles which I can overcome.






@hipsteralice
April Blogger in Residency
Alice in Crohnsland for

#HAWMC Day 26: Health Tag Line

#HAWMC Day 26: Your world is too mainstream, so I made my own.

Health Tag Line:
Your world is too mainstream, so I made my own.





I love the idea of Hipster Alice, (in an ironic way, of course, or else she wouldn’t be a hipster!)


So what is a hipster and what the hell does that have to do with my health focus and my blog? Well, Hipsters are a group of posers who think of themselves as being too cool for mainstream society. They like to think that they are all about an underground movement. They are currently listening to music that you may hear in a few months. In reality they are trust fund kids who are not as cool as they think. Do I sound pretentious and dismissive of them? Wow, then I really am a hipster! See what I mean? Ha!


Anyway I “ironically” like the choice of Hipster Alice, as applied to the tag line : “Your world is too mainstream so I made my own.”


It is representative of me. Because I am displaced. I don’t fit in to society. As someone who is chronically ill and home bound I choose to take it upon myself to create a world that suits MY needs. I like this idea, because I feel empowered. This tag line can serve as a reminder to myself that it is okay to be different, to not fit in or have to adapt. Rather, I can focus on myself and in that way, aim to live a life on my terms. To be fearless. To be a nonconformist. I have suffered enough in my life. I faced death and survived. I have been given another chance at life. Why waste it by trying to fit into a mold? Why should I let societal norms dictate how I should behave? How I should be?


Hipster Alice scoffs at this and rejects this patriarchal society. She instead is learning to create a world tailored to her needs. Where it is ok to be herself (once she discovers who she really is). It is a safe world. Because it is HER world. She makes the rules.


Alice is me. Everyday I feel more empowered. And it’s all thanks to amazing people who validate and inspire me. I am gaining the strength and courage needed to create MY world. That is what my tag line represents.



@hipsteralice
April Blogger in Residency
Alice in Crohnsland for



http://www.whatthejules.com/april/343-hawmc-day-26-your-world-is-too-mainstream-so-i-made-my-own