#HAWMC Day 3 Wordless Wednesday

Today’s Prompt:

• Post a picture that symbolizes your condition and your experiences.

 
Frida Kahlo, Without Hope, (1945)

#HAWMC Day 22: Things We Forget

#HAWMC Day 22 Things We Forget

The Things We Forget

We can all use a reminder from time to time. We’re busy – Health Activists especially – balancing life, health, and online community is a challenge. When juggling so many things at once – it can be easy to forget the basic, yet fundamental, things that we know to be true (or important).


For today’s prompt – write yourself a reminder. It can be in the form of an online post. Maybe your reminder is related to health or well-being. Maybe it’s focused on staying positive. Maybe it’s a little joke that you have with yourself. Maybe it’s dedicated to your community. Or maybe it’s something related to writing (Cross your T’s and Dot Your I’s! – Spell Check is your Friend!). No matter what you decide to come up with – consider it a little piece of writing – and exercise your ability to be concise but powerful.



The first “reminder” I have chosen is an actual picture and quote of Frida Kahlo’s. It’s one which I like very much and would make into a magnet. Or I could print it out and tape it on my wall.


The reason I chose this particular pic/quote is because of the theme which is consistent with my last two HAWMC posts. And that would be the feeling of displacement. Lately I’ve been struggling with the feeling that I don’t fit in anywhere. I’m in a state of transition that for now has me feeling like I’ve lost my place in the world. As someone who is chronically ill and home bound, it’s easy to feel that I’ve lost my place. But beyond that, is also the feeling of being different, broken, fragmented, which I’m sure is partly due to my struggle with depression. Not only do I feel displaced within the world, but within myself. I feel broken.


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Thus, this quote, ” I used to think I was the strangest person in the world. But then I thought, there are so many people in the world. There must be someone like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine her, and imagine she must be out there thinking of me too. Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it’s true, I’m here, and I’m just as strange as you.”


It’s amazing how deeply this quote touches me. As I type this quote I not only have goosebumps, but I have tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat. It’s as if Frida wrote this for me. I relate to her in so many ways. I feel so comforted by her words. Like her, I also feel so flawed and shattered right now. I feel displaced. I don’t know where I fit in, because there is nowhere for me. It makes me feel like I’m ok, even though I may be “displaced”, someone else has felt this way too. After all, she wrote that to me, as I’m the one reading it, and I picture her sitting here with me, telling me these words. And I suddenly don’t feel so alone. I feel ok. After all, she was. She led a full life, on her terms, and despite the pain, was unstoppable. I want to be as fearless as she was. Therefore my reminders are that: it’s ok to be different, I shouldn’t worry about “fitting in”. Rather I should embrace being different, being “strange” just as Frida did. She didn’t try to adapt to the world, instead, she made her own place in the world, through her fearlessness. She embraced her individuality. It can serve as a reminder to me when I start feeling overwhelmed and like I’m not good enough.  





 The second “reminder” is geared at my depression. I’ve talked about falling “down the rabbit hole” into the depths and darkness of my depression. Thus my reminder is the following quote:








“The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it. It’s our fear of the dark that casts our joy into the shadows.” - Brene Brown


Falling “down the rabbit hole” into depression is a very scary experience. In the depths of my depression it’s easy to focus on the negative, on the darkness. Yet, as stated in the above quote, my depression may be seen as shedding light to issues I need to face. It can be seen in a positive way, by allowing me to work on myself, to give myself the opportunity to grow. It is my own fears that “cast the joys into the shadows”, allowing me to only see and focus on the darkness, the despair. It’s common for someone who is depressed to feel that the pain of depression will never go away. To feel hopeless, dis-empowered. Yet it can be a time from which one can grow. Rather than avoid the feelings and that which is feared “the dark” , by exploring them, we are able to see past the darkness into the light, to look towards the shadows and once more find the joy. This reminder will be useful in giving me hope, which is something that is easy to lose sight of. Having Crohn’s, Depression, PTSD, and Fibromyalgia, it is easy to feel hopeless. But it’s important for me to see past my fears, to have hope and believe I will get better.


How do you intend to remind yourself of this particular truth that is sometimes forgotten? What would you remind your community? (Why not ask them to make reminders, too?)


I intend to remind myself of these truths by reading them daily (or more frequently if needed). When I’m feeling especially anxious I will look at this piece I’ve written and if I need to, will also write/blog. I will be tweeting the link to my blog, and also one of the pictures, to inform my “twitter community” of what I’m doing. I will suggest they make reminders in the hopes they find it helpful in coping.









@hipsteralice
April Blogger in Residency
Alice in Crohnsland for

http://www.whatthejules.com/april/335-hawmc-day-22-things-we-forget

#HAWMC Day 16: Pinterest Board

Hipster Alice’s Pinterest Board #HAWMC Day 16

Create a pinterest board for your health focus. Pin 3 things. What did you pin? Share the images in a post and explain why you chose them.


Ok, for this prompt, some improvisation was required. I do not have, nor am I pinterested (see what I did there? Yes, I’m a genius, I know! ) in creating a pinterest account. I have always been drawn (no pun intended) towards Frida Kahlo. She was such an amazing human being, who despite (or because of) her suffering, was able to make such touching works of art. I don’t remember when I first “discovered” Frida and her artwork, but what I do know is that the moment I saw her art I immediately felt the pain and vulnerability which she conveyed so well in all her pieces. During my last year in college I took a trip to Mexico City and had the honor of visiting Frida’s hometown, Coyoacan. I went to her house, “La Casa Azul” which is now a museum. While there, it was surreal, because her presence could be felt, everywhere. I even get goosebumps as I remember the experience of being in her home, walking through her bedroom, seeing her bed, where she painted. It was as if I was intruding on her and I half expected her to walk through at any minute. The most haunting memory I have from that visit is a room in which her easel is kept. Her wheelchair is right in front of it. *gets goosebumps again* I have never had the experience of “seeing” and or “feeling” the presence of a ghost. Yet that day, I definitely felt Frida’s presence.


Although I could find SO many incredible pieces of art that I love, the following that I’ve chosen are those which I most relate to my health focus (Crohn’s, depression, Chronic Illness).




The first “pin” is an actual picture of the artist at work. One of my favorite Frida quotes is: “I paint my own reality. The only thing I know is that I paint because I need to, and I paint whatever passes through my head without any other consideration.” And here she is shown, painting on her cast while holding a mirror so as to see her reflection, because she painted herself. This quote and picture speak to me and serve as an inspiration for my blogging because that is how I write. I allow my words to flow, in a stream of consciousness, which is MY reality. I don’t censor my thoughts or emotions, much like the way in which Frida painted. (NOT that I think I am ANYWHERE near as talented as she was!)




The second “pin” I’ve chosen is her painting, “Without Hope” (1945) on which Frida inscribed ” A mi no me queda ya ni la menor esperanza… Todo se mueve al compas de lo que encierra la pansa.” (” Not the least hope remains for me…everything moves in step with what’s in the belly.”) In this painting, Frida depicts a lack of appetite following several surgeries, which led to her being prescribed a “force fed diet”. When I initially looked at this painting, I immediately identified. I see myself in that bed. After all, during my hospitalization and recovery from surgery, I spent 4 months in bed, during which time, I too was “force-fed” via tube feedings. But what strikes me when I look at that painting is the feeling that I’m being swallowed alive, by my depression, by my Crohn’s. Feeling hopeless, out of control, under the mercy of this horrible monster which has overtaken my life. This painting is a perfect rendition of that.




The third “pin” is one of my favorite paintings and also one that is relevant to the theme which I’ve found running through my blog/posts for HAWMC. I have written not only about feeling hope but also transformation. Thus, a perfect depiction is that which is found in “The Two Fridas” (1939). It is believed to be a painting depicting her deep hurt at losing her husband. One Frida sits on the left of the painting; this is the Frida that was rejected by Rivera, Her blouse is ripped open, exposing her broken and bleeding heart. The Frida to the right, the one that Rivera still loves, has a heart that is still whole. She holds a small portrait of Rivera in her hand. While this has nothing to do directly with MY health focus, I have a different interpretation (which, isn’t that what art is about? open to interpretation?). To me it is symbolic of loss, grief, and transformation. I apply it to myself as I “lost” a part of myself when I became gravely ill and required surgery back in 2010. I lost the life I had because of the hospitalization and surgery. I feel like there are two Kats (the Kat I was before surgery, and the Kat I am becoming) and the artery (which is me now). I am still in the process of grieving who I was and the life I led. Yet I am also in the process of transformation. Of making peace with what I lost and moving on, of healing. After all, in the painting, there is a connection between the two Fridas: the artery which flows between the hearts, thus representative of the flow of life. It goes on.









@hipsteraliceApril
Blogger in Residency
Alice in Crohnsland for

http://www.whatthejules.com/april/323-hipster-alices-pinterest-board-hawmc-day-16