I am label free. In other words, a generic version of myself.

  Rant alert.

 Should you choose to proceed and read this , you have been warned. lol. sigh.



I reject The Spoon Theory and any concept which has me focusing on what I can't do and  which leaves me feeling like a failure, because of my "limitations" (lack of spoons). And I can't with the concept of losing a spoon for tomorrow.
It doesn't give me any hope to know that tomorrow is going to suck because, I'm already "lacking" the usual number of spoons I need to get me through the day. WTF kind of negative thinking is that?

 Rather than "lose a spoon" for each task I'm unable to complete, I choose to instead give myself credit for all of the little things I can do. That is much more therapeutic for me.






 I acknowledge how ranty this may come across to some. Who am I kidding? It is ranty. This is how I'm feeling, and I own it.  In no way do I mean disrespect to the creator of The Spoon Theory or anyone who follows it.  I am cognizant  that many people do find the spoon theory beneficial, and kudos to them. Whatever works for each individual. The last thing I want is to come across as close minded or intolerant. That is not supportive of those of us who are chronically ill. And we need the support and understanding. So much. Especially from each other.

But I have to go with what works for me. And "The Spoon Theory" doesn't.


"I am myself and I am here." - Sartre

That is all.





*Update

This is now like the millionth edit (maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, yes I tend to do that. Shocking. I know.) Anyway. Yesterday I wrote from a place of frustration, and published it. Once it is out of mind, it is out of sight. I forget that people sometimes read the blog. On rare ocassion, I suppose. Haha. Anyway, upon reading the comment left below, I wondered if I'd been too negative. Which would be ironic, as I was complaining about how negative I found the Spoon Theory, and in doing so, I too was being negative. Here I go again, ranting about a rant. How meta. I really need to work on a filter. lol.   

Also, I worry that I may have been to simplistic or one-sided in how I presented the Spoon Theory? This is highly probable, because what do I know? I live in a perpetual state of confusion. lol



As I recently told someone when describing my blog,

" It is like I vomited my emotions all over the place."

Did I really just quote myself?! *facepalm*

Like everything in life, we take what we we need, what is useful. I don't completely reject everything about The Spoon Theory. I do like how it uses the metaphor as a way of helping those who are not ill understand a day in the life of a chronically ill individual. I also identify with the "But you don't look sick" concept, wherein the fact that I may "look" well doesn't negate the fact that I am sick and may be feeling it. Looks are deceiving. Especially for those of us living with "invisible illnesses."

I have many twitter friends who identify as "spoonies" and the last thing I'd want is to offend any of them. I am grateful for them and how supportive they've been. I reiterate, that for now, I really am not labeling myself, because I already carry my diagnoses, and that is more than enough, lol.